Table 64.

Why do people feel the need to be so completely rude?

Tonight my second or third table was a couple of women in their 50’s.

“Hi there. How are you ladies doing tonight?”

“Fine”

“Well, my name is Sa-“

“I’ll take a tall Manhattan with Maker’s mark. You have Maker’s mark right? I only want Maker’s mark, no other kinds. And can you put it in a tall glass with extra ice? Every time I come in here they give me this tiny glass and I drink it too fast, so make sure it is a big glass. And olives. Do not bring it to me with cherries. “

Alright… so that was good start. If you didn’t know or failed to realize, Applebee’s has a list of stuff we are supposed to say to each and every table. But, I gave up on this one right away and just let them talk at me.

The other lady took a bit longer to decide. And while I can’t remember what I was saying while she was deciding, she must have been annoyed or bored because she interrupted me to say, “ Can we just drink in peace for while first."

(More as a statement than a question)

Umm...I don't know if she realized, but they still hadn’t finished ordering their drinks. The only reason I was still standing there at all was because they hadn’t ordered anything yet. I couldn’t help but say, “Sure, you can sit here as long as you want. I just want to know what your drink order is.” She sort of rolled her eyes and ordered a beer.

 While this was happening, the rest of my tables were filling up. 

“What are your vegetables?” she asked.

“It’s a mix of steamed Broccoli, carrots and yellow squa..”

“No” she repeated while shaking her head.

“No way. I will not eat them. I hate those.”

“Okay, is there something else I can get you?” I asked.

“What are my options?”

“Well, what are you planning on ordering?”

“Steak”

“Well, you could get just steamed broccoli, or mashed potatoes, fries, baked potato, onion rings, chili fries, a soup or salad for a little extra… “

“I hate broccoli,” she said.

“Oh yes. I hate broccoli too. I can’t even look at it.,” the other woman said while making a gross noise. They talked about broccoli for a minute while I stood awkwardly tapping my pen.

“What are my options again?”

She made me repeat them 2 or 3 times.

Then, after all that, she decided she would just take the vegetables anyway. Yes that’s right.

“But, only to bring home for my husband. Don’t let them touch my other food.”

(Someone is married to her!?)

“No problem” I said.

They continued with their mean little comments while I tried to take the rest of their order. Wishing I could go and greet my other, hopefully more pleasant tables.

“Oh and one more thing,” one of the women said as she closed her menu and shoved it my direction. “I will be so Pissed. Off. If you bring out my dinner before I am finished with my appetizers. Do you understand?”

The other lady chimed in again, “ Yes, they did that last time. It is so awful.”

“Don’t worry. It will be my number one priority.” I said with the sweetest smile I could muster before walking away.

I wish I was making this up.People like this make me ask myself what is it about their lives that are so horrible, that they feel the need to spread their horribleness to other people? What did I do to deserve being talked to like that?  But, the good news is, they always leave.

After telling this account to my fiancée later, he said that maybe someday we will go somewhere and see them working and we can be as awful to them as they were to me. But, truth be told, I don’t know if I could ever be like that to someone else. Even though these ladies would totally deserve it. I think I would still find it hard to be that mean.

 I hope I never reach the age where I stop being nice and just start being old.